just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
