someone get that fucking seahorse.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
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