Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
