Please, let me fuck your mom
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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