is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
