Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
