dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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