I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize