Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
...so i touched it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize