omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
