mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
