how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
