I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
