think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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