Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
