now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
