I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize