i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
