told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
