I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
