Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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