Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
