if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
