i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
