Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
