So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize