I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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