i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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