Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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