Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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