Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
