When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
