Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
