I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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