All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize