No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
