Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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