It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
