I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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