OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
