why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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