I wish I could punch you in the face.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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