some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
