Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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