you win again, gameday.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
