Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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