yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
