how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you had me at cake vodka
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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