is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
