based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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