I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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