So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize