I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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