walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
