i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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