Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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