I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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