I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
