im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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