Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
