i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Found the puke drawer
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize