I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
